Dealing with Siblings That Fight!

Sibling Fights

What do you do when your children are constantly fighting? They fight over toys, games, and of course, your attention. They cry, scream, and even hit. You're at your wits end and fear that their sibling rivalry (oh, they're not even 6 years-old yet) will never end. Have no fear, "for this too shall pass," says Parents Ask expert Joanne Stern, author of "Parenting is a Contact Sport." Today, Joanne offers Blogger Meredith Groenevelt, mom to three girls (ages 12, 4, and 2) tips on way to cope with normal sibling fighting between her two youngest daughters.

Joanne's top tips:

-Try spending some more individual time with each daughter alone.
-Encourage them to work it out on their own if it's a small spat... But if it gets intense, stop the action.
-Be firm but calm. This models that conflict doesn't have to lead to outbursts.
-Choose moments to teach kindness, sharing and thoughtfulness - but not every time or it will decrease the effectiveness.
-Affirm the child who gives in to solve the problem without going over the top.

-Sibling Rivalry: Bringing Home the Baby

-Your Child's Personality: Nature or Nurture?

More videos on Parents Ask ... Browse all 12 videos

Showing the Latest of 2 Comments

buenobaby
2 yearss ago

Joanne, we've already put into place a number of your recommendations. I especially feel that postponing those “learning moments” until the height of their emotions have past has already been helpful. Also, now whenever they fight we just tell them... “Joanne said you have to work it out on your own!” Meredith http://www.buenobaby.com/nuevo/content/my-first-parentsaskcom-video

joannestern
2 yearss ago

Hi Meredith, I'm so glad some of my tips have been helpful. I hope by now, your girls are learning that they won't get your approval or attention when they get into spats but that they WILL get both when they behave. Good luck. Joanne

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Jennifer Brandt is the Managing Editor of Parents Ask, Momversation, and Good Bite. Jennifer lives in Los Angeles and is mom to a 3 year
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