Bedtime Stalling: Nip it in the Bud!

Like most tired moms, Kim Blando is at the end of her rope because her toddler just won't go to bed! Every night her 2.5 year old daughter Sue finds a way to stall at bedtime. Her antics aren't just frustrating Kim, but they're keeping her 4 year old son up as well. Today, Jill Spivack of Sleepy Planet gives Kim a workable game plan to get Sue to stay in bed and GO TO SLEEP! And as with most things toddler-related, consistency is key.

Jill says: Kim's bedtime routine is great, but they need to work on what happens AFTER Sue is put in the crib:

•    Explain to William what’s going on. Tell William that you are going to work on Sue’s sleep because she’s having a really tough time getting to bed at night. If he hears Sue upset for a couple of nights as you teach her to be a good sleeper, tell him not to worry and he should stay in his bed and go to sleep. A little white noise may also be helpful in William’s room.

•    Spend time in Sue’s room playing during the day. This prevents Sue’s room from becoming a “separation chamber,” and instead is a place where she not only sleeps, but plays and has fun as well.

•    Create a personalized book. Draw pictures to help Sue understand what the problem is, and why you need to solve the problem, and what the routine of bedtime will be.

•    Use a 5-10-15 minute timing system. If Sue calls for you once you leave the room, wait 5 minutes and then go to her to do a check-in. Stay for UNDER 30 SECONDS an d say, “Time to sleep sweetheart….night night” Make sure you don’t go in and touch her or start negotiating or answering her questions or requests. You almost want to stand at the door and just say, in a loving tone, “I love you…night night” and then leave. Come back in 10 minutes and do the same…Then, every 15 minutes until she goes to sleep. Should she wake in the middle of the night, start your 5-10-15 minute checks again.

•    Be consistent, and don’t give in. The key is consistency – Sue will be upset that you’re not coming in to cater to her anymore, and that’s okay – she’s allowed to be upset. Be firm and loving and CONSISTENT in your tone, and she’ll eventually stop testing you while still feeling supported and contained.

BONUS** •    Purchase a sleepy time nightlight. There are nightlights out there that can be timed to shine as a moon during the nighttime and a sun during the daytime. Explain to Sue that while the moon is shining, she needs to sleep, and when the sun is shining, she can wake up and play. Congratulate her when she’s able to stay in her crib all night by herself.

-The Hush Hour: What to Do When Your Child Won't Nap

-Sleeping Arrangements: What are Your Family's?

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Showing the Latest of 2 Comments

rakesh
1 week ago

Your advice is excellent! parenting teenagers parenting toddlers

KMR
4 months ago

How do I get my 5 year old son to separate from his stuff animal when he goes to school? He has no problem when separating from his stuff animal at home only when we go to school. What is your best advice for my son with out causing tears when letting go of his stuff animal for good.

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Jennifer Brandt is the Managing Editor of Parents Ask, Momversation, and Good Bite. Jennifer lives in Los Angeles and is mom to a 3 year
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