Parents are Asking: When Should My Child Give Up Their Comfort Objects?

Figuring out when and how to separate your child from comfort objects like blankies, pacifiers, "binkies," and any other meaningful object is always tricky. Today, Parents Ask expert Dr. Bonnie Zucker, Psy.D, author of Anxiety-Free Kids answers this common question:
 
Q: Comfort Objects:  At what age should children put their binkies, blankies and bottles to bed? Any quick tips for weaning or going cold turkey?
 
A: Comfort objects are frequently used by children as part of self-soothing and can also be a special (sometimes sacred) part of childhood. Some of these objects are called "transitional objects" by psychologists, as they help the child transition into more independent behaviors and situations, such as falling asleep on their own. Ranging from a blankie to a lovely to a favorite stuffed animals, these "objects" help your child cope with separations, new situations, and can bring a great deal of warmth and comfort to your child. Many parents express concern about long-term use of these items, and often expect that their child will "grow out of it". While many children do eventually decide that they don't "need" or want their binkie or blankie anymore, many children continue to use them.
 
It can be a bit challenging to see your child continue to use these items when other kids their age have given them up; however, I strongly believe that the decision needs to be up to the child. Most of the decisions in a child's life are not made by the child- where they go to school, what they eat, their bedtime, etc, are all decided for them by their parents or other adults. A child's transitional object is theirs and it should be up to them if they want to continue using it. Continued use of a lovely, stuffed animal, or blankie will not cause harm to your child; however, taking it away from them or forcing them to give it up can potentially be damaging as it will likely be perceived as a loss.
 
One exception is the use of bottles at bedtime. Ideally, your child should be able to go to bed without a bottle. Childhood sleep experts consider bottles at bedtime a negative sleep association as the child learns to fall asleep only with the use of a bottle. Children should be taught to go to bed without needing a bottle. Sleeping with a stuffed animal or blankie, however, is not a problem. A great reference for learning how to get your child to fall asleep (and stay asleep) on their own is Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell, Ph.D.  I followed the guidelines in this book and have a 16-month-old son who falls asleep on his own, after a ritual of bathtime and storytime, and stays asleep for 12 hours without waking.
 
Finally, the American Pediatric Association recommends that bottle use be discontinued around the age of 12 months. This can be a difficult transition, but ultimately your child will adjust to using sippy cups.