Commented by SU-Z-Q, Tue Oct 6, 2009 2:25pm UTC

I think my daughter is busy but I don't believe she is over scheduled. She is busy with ballet and play group she just turned 4 and pre K is a new experience for her. She loves to dance and now wants to play my piano so I will be signing her up for classes if her interest persists. I want to stress there is NO PRESSURE for her to do any of it from me. It is purely her and if she wants to quit she can anytime.

I strongly believe it is upto me as a mother to help her find her self worth before someone else defines it for her.

I was an over scheduled child growing up and I think it worked very much to my advantage. Not only did it teach me to multi task but I didn't have free time to waste and I think it is important to find and do the things we are all meant to be 'good at' early in life. This gives us direction and self worth. There are so many dangers lurking around children who don't have clear direction drugs sex a life of mediocrity.....one more dangerous than the other.

I think it is important to provide discipline structure and plenty of opportunity to excel in sports art music dance a skill set which teaches more than a talent. It teaches them how to think and defines an important aspect of who they are.

Commented by bookmama, Tue Oct 6, 2009 6:09pm UTC

I have many friends who have scheduled their kids so that there is no down time since they were little - they have had schedules that neither I or my kids could maintain. And I have had serious eyebrow raising moments when I thought, "Really? What are you doing?" However, as I continue to learn - not all kids are the same and for some of these kids, these activities were vital. And now that they are teenagers, these kids that have these developed passions, have set goals, time management skills, and are not getting into the trouble that some of their peers are because they just don't have the time! I no longer judge - I know what I can handle, what my kids can handle, and I trust that my friends know the same for their own kids

Commented by Dear Old Dad, Wed Oct 7, 2009 7:16pm UTC

"Yet see men well by reason, doubteless,
That idleness is root of sluggardy,
Of which there cometh never good increase; "
---Chaucer

Commented by Marie - Make and Takes, Thu Oct 8, 2009 7:32pm UTC

I actually fear that my child is under-scheduled! He's not sure what sport or activity he's interested in, so we're just playing with friends, coloring, and riding bikes until he makes a decision.

Commented by Mariah, Thu Oct 8, 2009 8:55pm UTC

We keep it to one or two activities per week. It is during the open-ended, long periods of time that the girls really get to express themselves, pursue their interests and discover new ones.

Commented by Brent, Thu Oct 8, 2009 11:27pm UTC

I agree with Betsy Braun ... 2 extracurricular activities is enough. Okay, maybe 3, but that's the limit. The more activities our kids have the less "downtime" my wife and I have!

Commented by meredith winn, Fri Oct 9, 2009 2:01am UTC

i think if you follow the child's lead and incorporate your child's temperament into the equation you'll do fine with scheduling. i personally keep activities to one a week. i believe that down time and open-ended play works best for my son. oftentimes just being at school every day of the week is overstimulating for him and he 'asks' for down time (with his actions) i find that if i don't pay attention to his signs, then he is a wreck if we do too many activities a week.

every child is different and every family is different. i've found myself to be more prone to open ended, creative, imaginative play over scheduled activities.

Commented by Aimee Giese, Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:40am UTC

We try to keep it to one "extramural" activity at a time. Particularly since we are running around with life in general.

Commented by oceanbandit, Wed Oct 14, 2009 5:23pm UTC

I like to push my kid to the limits. It will better prepare him for life.

Commented by momof2, Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:48pm UTC

My son REALLY wants to quit playing the piano. He's played for years and is really talented but he's having a hard time finding time to practice (he's plays soccer too). I want him to keep playing, but is this about me or is this about him? I honestly can't tell anymore. How do you know when to encourage your child to stick with a class/hobby/team sport if they really want to give it up? When do I lead with, "you made a commitment so you should stick with it AND you'll thank me later for this. My mom let me quit piano and I wish she hadn't" And when is it ok to say, "You really don't like this/have time for it, it's ok to quit" ?