Gender roles: 9 things parents can do to keep balance between the sexes.

Earlier this month,  Parents Ask expert Lisa Belkin asked this gender role question in her Mothlode column: "Do girls have more chores than boys?"  I answered YES after a close look at the division of labor in my house, but apparently, the State of the Kid survey done by Highlights Magazine presented facts and figures to the contrary.  Turns out that in most households, families were divvying up things evenly.   That's the good news. 

Here's the bad news: Despite the stats supporting the idea that chores are shared equally, another Motherlode column reveals that  boys and girls don't really think they should be.

In Kids see housework as women's domain,  it seems that traditional gender roles are alive and well with a new twist --  data reveals that there's a correlation between hours kids do housework and hours dad is at work.  According to the  Journal of Family Studies report, the bottom line is this: Dad's out of the house so he's not providing the "dad does the dishes" role-modeling as much as he needs to.  Add to this, Lisa's theory "that mothers are more likely to see home and hearth as their responsibility and to feel guilty if they have to dole out “their job” to their children. Fathers, on the other hand, are less likely to carry that societal expectation, or that guilt. but someone has to clean up."  All this leaves kids seeing mom bearing the brunt of the domestic drudgery and therefore assuming that as usual, a woman's place is in the kitchen. 

So what are parents to do in an attempt to send the right messages and achieve balance between the sexes?  We asked our Parents Ask expert Betsy Brown Braun to weigh in and she offered these 9 suggestions and solutions. 

1. Children learn from living with and watching their parents. Period.

2. Parents must model what they expect from their children. If you want your son to participate, then Dad must.
3. Children will do that with which they were raised to do (and that which was expected of them as children.)
4. Parents have to EXPECT the participation from all children, regardless of gender.
5. Parents have to take the time to teach children how to do the job
6. Parents have to have reasonable expectations for children (Don’t set your standards too high)
7. Parents have to praise the good stuff  and overlook some of the bad.
8. Children of both genders can be proud of jobs well done…even if it is cooking or childcare or whatever.
9. It’s up to parents to fight the stereotypes in the culture (brings books, allow media that underscores their goals, etc)

Do you have an equal divsion of labor in your house?  Are you setting a good example for your kids?