Protective vs. Paranoid: Is Stranger Danger Real?

As parents, we'll do anything to shield our children from harm. But can our instincts to protect our children from "the boogyman" or a complete stranger, actually cause more harm than good? Today, our panel of experts Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids, Joanne Stern, Ph.D, author of Parenting is a Contact Sport, and Susan Stiffelman, MFT, author of Parenting Without Power Struggles, discuss protective vs. paranoid parenting. Though their perspectives vary, the bottom line: There is a way to be protective without being paranoid...

So where do you stand on the paranoid vs. protective divide? Are today's parents being too paranoid, or should we all be a bit more protective?

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Mrs Embers
2 yearss ago

Yeah, I talk to strangers every day- I ask them what time it is, chat about the weather or answer when they say something about my kids. The cashier at the grocery store is a stranger. I don't run screaming or give somebody the cold shoulder because he asks me if I think this is the cheez-whiz that's on sale in the flyer. I say "hi" to people on the street. It took me a while to get to this point- learning about "stranger danger" as a kid made me terrified of talking to anyone I didn't know. My kids see me talking to "strangers" (they also see me not picking up hitchhikers and leaving if somebody gives me the creeps). My 4-year old knows it's OK to answer if someone asks him about his stuffed cat. He ALSO knows that he is NEVER to go anywhere with anyone (whether they're a stranger or not) without asking me or his dad first. Things will no doubt get more complicated as my kids get older and I'm not around when they're out and about, and our conversations will evolve as things change, but I never want them to be afraid of every person who says "hello" to them. I think "Stranger Danger" is generally a bad approach. Teaching common sense and listening to your gut, and never going with anyone without permission make sense. Teaching that everyone's a threat and even grown-ups don't talk to strangers is silly.

fb-734895615-ta...
2 yearss ago

Actually, I talked to 2 random strangers in one day and guess what??? Neither had bad intentions. Next time I'm out for a walk I'm sure I will do it again.

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