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When we were kids, there was probably one (maaaaybe two) methods to soothe a crying baby. Now, there are a dozen philosophies and parenting books all aimed at helping you get your baby to stop crying... and go to sleep! But determining what is the best (or worst) is not an easy feat. Often times it's done on a trial by error basis... But when it comes to your baby, do you want to be wrong?
Today, Dr. Scott Cohen, author of Eat Sleep Poop, Dr. Robert Sears, author of The Baby Book, and Dr. Lynne Kenney, author of The Family Coach Method discuss the sometimes controversial "Cry It Out Method" of sleep training. Dr. Cohen maintains it works well for kids over four months of age, while Dr. Sears says it might be harmful to let kids cry for long stretches of time. Dr. Kenney says it's not a one-size-fits all solution. But is this the solution for you? Judge for yourself...
#VIDEO
Ready for those Zzz's? Here's the breakdown:
Dr. Scott Cohen - "Cry it Out Works!"
The cry-it-out method works great for babies over 4 months of age.
• Before 4 months of age, children are in a developmental stage where they are learning the world is safe because you are providing for everything they need. They’re hungry – you feed them. They’re fussy – you hold them.
• After 4 months of age, they can understand how to self-soothe, and letting them “cry-it-out” for longer increments each night can help them learn. 5-10-15 (explain briefly) The goal should be a 10-hour night.
There are several myths associated with the “cry-it-out” method of sleep training.
• “It is psychologically damaging to let them cry-it-out.” Actually it’s just the opposite. You are teaching them an important lesson – how to problem-solve and self-soothe.
• “The baby will starve if I don’t feed them.” Any feedings during the 10 hour nighttime are purely for comfort, not hunger.
• “They have to be a certain size.” At four months old, if they are gaining weight, it doesn’t matter how big they are, they are able to do it.
Dr. Robert Sears - "Cry it Out May Cause Harm"
Consider what happens in a baby's brain during intense crying:
• Blood pressure rises dramatically.
• Oxygen flow decreases.
• The stress hormone cortisol washes through the brain.
• These three factors have been shown to harm developing brain cells, which isn't something any parent wants for his or her baby.
A baby's cry is his language. It's how he communicates.
• By not responding, a parent sends the message that he or she isn't always going to be there, that the baby has to go it alone sometimes, and that the baby can't always trust that his language will be answered. That's a very tough lesson for a young baby to have to learn.
Lynne Kenney - "Cry it out doesn't work for all babies"
"It's not a one size fits all solution"
• Some children do well with crying it out for a few nights (15 minutes or so). When given the opportunity to rely on themselves, they develop the self-soothing strategies to fall asleep without help from mommy or daddy.
• Other children need support, help and re-assurance as they do not have the self-soothing skills to fall asleep, get back to sleep and stay asleep. That's right sleep requires several skill sets.
• Your goal as a parent is to raise a skillful child who learns how to fall asleep on his own while still feeling safe and loved.
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