From the moment you became a parent, it was clear that one thing would never be the same: Sleep, or lack thereof. As your babies got older, it also became clear bedtime would always be a challenge. With a busy and full life, getting everyone to sleep in an orderly, calm and peaceful fashion most nights seems nearly impossible. Even more impossible is how tough it is to keep everyone asleep, especially your toddler- who reaches new developmental milestones every day.



Today we look at how to create positive bedtime rituals, with information provided by Parents Ask expert and pediatrician Dr. Scott Cohen, mommy blogger Lisa Belkin, and Parenting Consultant Ann Corwin.
 


Ready for bed but need a recap? Here's the breakdown:

Pediatrician Dr. Scott Cohen says: "Routine and predictability is the key."


-Bath Time:  Aside from getting clean there are other benefits to giving a bath before bed. It relaxes muscles, soothes tired nerves, creates quality time between parent and child etc.
 

-Drink of Water:  Could you speak upon why this important for kids?  Are kids really "Thirsty" before bed.
 

-Limit Sugar before Bed: Chocolate and other sugary treats can make your kids too ramped up.  Limit these treats before bed for an easiest transition to "sleeping."


-Limit TV/Video Games 1 hour before bed: TV and Video games can be too stimulating before bed. Kids there are over stimulated won't want to get into bed.
 


Parenting Consultant Ann Corwin, Ph.D says: "Kids need to feel safe when they go to bed."


-Be specific about what bedtime is...so instead of saying it is time to head to bed as those can be fighting words, say to your kids, "It is time to snuggle together, play in the water and read about your favorite fairy princess/G.I. Joe guy!

-Remember , for a child, going to bed is the ultimate separation from their parent.  Before a child can tell time (around 1st grade) bedtime means I have to stop playing, I don't get to see the person I love and adore more than anything on the face of this earth (their parent) and there is a possibility that I won't see them ever again!  One of the best ways to help kids cope with being separated from their parents is playing "hide-go-seek" during the day.  When the parent hides say something like this to your kids,"Even though I cannot see your face right now while you hide, it is just like when you are sleeping!  You will still be my little boy/girl who has green eyes and black hair who loves to ride bikes.  And no matter where you hide I will always find you and we will see each other again with a smile and high five for each other".


-Bedtime should always be about teaching kids to be able comfort themselves and feel safe even though their parents cannot be with them at that moment.  So NEVER tell kids they need to 'go to bed' as a punishment/discipline technique.  Using this technique will teach kids to be scared of sleep and not be able to trust themselves to be safe without their parent present.


-Pick an Attachment Object.  Just like parents might sleep with a favorite pillow to signal it is time to drift off to sleep in a familiar setting, kids need the same!  So during the day when your young child has a hard time dealing with almost anything give them the comfort they need with the object they use to go to sleep.  For example, if their stuffed animal helps them sleep, have the parent put it in-between them and their child and tell them that 'furry bear' will help them feel better, just like 'furry bear' helps them sleep.  This helps the child associate sleep and comfort and security with that object and that makes it less painful when their parent leaves in the night.

Mommy Blogger Lisa Belkin, says: "Rituals that worked best at our house have varied from age to age."

-Tucking in the stuffed animals. Kids are attached to these furry friends and having them role play where they are pretending to "be the parent" helps them identify with the ritual.

-Have your kids recount their day. My boys always loved to play this game where my boys would retell the "story" of their day, starting with "I got up in the morning..."

-If your kids can't sleep, develop a special snack. Warm milk with a few drops of vanilla still relaxes my boys when they can't sleep and they are well into their teens.

-Singing a favorite lullaby.  For my kids it was the lullaby song from Mary Poppins.

-Give them something to concentrate on once you leave the room. For us it was counting the headlights of cars as they pass through the window of the street. It takes their mind off the act of sleeping and lulls them into a restful state.

What are your favorite bedtime rituals? Tell us here!