With Thanksgiving just days away, this post, Family dinner with a Side of Stress couldn't seem more relevant.  As families gather around the dinner table, along with the familiar fixings come the familiar familial tensions as well.  As Tara Pope mentioned in her Well column, "the combination of food and family often brings out longstanding tensions, criticim and battles for control.  Simple issues wth butter or asking for seconds are fraught with conflict and commentary."  Oh how right she is. 

To enjoy as stress-free a meal as possible, here's a handy list of 5 suggestions to help you give thanks AND keep the peace: 

1) Be prepared.  If you've walked into an emotional minefield in the past, most likely this year will be equally dangerous.  Like these two cousins, why not find a partner in crime and come up with a coping game, like their bingo cards filled with the negative statements they expected to hear at the dinner table in place of numbers.  The zinger and insults can still fly, but you can take the sting out by turning them into points!

2) Let go.  If you are constantly bucking up against your mother's/your inlaw's/any-relative-hosting thanksgiving-this-year's thanksgiving meal, hoping to make your own perfectly brined bird, get over it.  Most likely you'll get your chance in the near future to be the Thanksgiving host/hostess.  Show up, shut up and Just be thankful you don't have to do the dishes.

3) Change the conversation.  Newsweek wrote up a great post on 5 subject changes to steer away from polarizing conversations that might cause friction and fights. From the suggestion to discuss Charla Nash, the poor woman attacked by chimps to veer away from the Health Care debate, to taking a political discussion about Sarah Palin into the pornography realm by talking about Levi Johnston in Playgirl, it's just genius.   

4. Prioritize.  Sure, the day is filled with obligations but what do you want to do on Thanksgiving? Even if you're enduring a planes, trains and automobile trek across country with kids, find a sliver of the day for yourself.  Seriously.  An hour of doing what you want to do will make all the difference in the world. 

5. Embrace Sandra Lee, exorcise Martha.   Why not try semi-homemade (if you're a 100% homemade type) going more Sandra, and as chef Julie says, "not all Martha."   No one is going to know that you didn't grow, pick and boil down that cranberry sauce.  Really. They won't.