Recently, a reader submitted this:

"WE ARE DESPERATE. We have read EVERYTHING we can find on sleeping, including the whole list of issues on your site. Our 8 month old wakes up at least 4 times per night. He seems to be a high needs baby, and is also teething, breastfeeding, and crawling."

Well, today Parents Ask Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution explains that the first obstacle here is that, technically speaking, "it is impossible for a child to sleep 'through the night' at any age." (Oh no!) Read on!

Elizabeth: All human beings have sleep cycles and wake up four or more times each night, particularly when shifting form one stage of sleep to another. The issue, then, is not for a child to sleep all night without waking up, but for a child to be able to fall back to sleep – totally on his own – each time he does wake up.

 

68% of babies, nearly 50% of toddlers and 36% of preschoolers need a parent’s attention to fall back to sleep in the night. This is true because children are creatures of habit – once a routine is set in place they will resist change. The first goal is to find out what your child needs from you when he wakes up – what is your midnight routine? Slowly wean your child from that crutch. Some of the common things children rely on are: rocking, feeding, replacing a pacifier, or nighttime company.

 

Once you figure out what your child needs from you, then begin to reduce the amount and length of your aid. If your baby breastfeeds at each of these four or more waking, try reducing the length of the nursing sessions, or substituting one or two of these with rocking. If your baby takes a bottle at each awakening, for example, gradually reduce the amount of milk and begin to dilute it with water.

The right nighttime environment can help. When your child wakes up in the middle of the night it is a time to offer comfort and help him re-settle to sleep. It is not a time for turning on lights, talking, eating, TV-watching, or singing songs. It’s also not a time for anger or pleading, which won’t solve night-waking, and can actually make it worse. It may help to provide your child with some night-time company, such as a stuffed animal or a bed-side pet, such as a turtle or fish.

In the middle of the night you should be reassuring and offer comfort, but you should also be, exceptionally boring. Keep the room dark and turn on some quiet white-noise (such as a recording of ocean waves or rainfall.) The key is to get your child to lie down, close his eyes, and go back to sleep as quickly as possible, and with as little fuss and assistance as possible. Once your child has a new night-waking routine that requires less assistance from you then he’ll begin to fall back to sleep without your help.