When it came to talking to my kids about sex - each one at a different age and stage - I was greatful for Mark Schuster and Justin Richardson's book, "Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask)."   Even if it was awkward (and yes, a lot of it was awkward), the book gave me just the right thing to say and more importantly, helped me understand where my kids were developmentally and how they might interpret the information I was giving them.

I carried the book around (even in hardback) and always recommended it to gun shy friends truly perplexed about where to begin when the more advanced, "where do babies come from" questions started to fly.   It turns out, according to a new Harvard study, co-authored by Mark Schuster himself, that a very large number of parents didn't pour over the book as I did and take his "tell them the facts before they are feeling the feelings" advice about having the talk.  A shocking 40% of these parents, the study reveals, only had the talk after their kids were sexually active.  Oh my.

In polling teens 13-17 along with their parents, the study revealed that families were sitting down and talking about too little, too late.   Yes, many parents did broach the subject of birth control, STD's, and how to have the "no means no" talk.  But to their surprise, these conversations came long after the kids had encountered these situations on their own.  In fact, two thirds of sons said they hadn't even talked to their parents about the basics of using a condom before they became sexual active!

Hopefully, these numbers will be a wake up call to parents who don't want to be in this "oops, too late" group and through stuttering, stammering and blushing, will get them to start talking and talking much earlier. The time to start talking about sexuality (at least in general) is when children are toddlers, and the developmentally appropriate talks should continue, right up through young adulthood. If parents are squeamish- and apparently most are- there are many books like Mark's and others with tips and scripts to help them through.