Several years ago now, an uneventful ride to school went awry when my 7-year-old son Owen busted out the inevitable Santa question:
"Is Santa real, Mom?"
I'd had this conversation twice in the last decade with my two daughters (now 12 and 19) and it had been been riddled with complex emotions - disappointment, sadness, anger and betrayal. My oldest Phoebe was especially distraught when she learned the truth -- less so about the debunking of the mythic figure, more so about the lie I perpetuated for all those years.
When Owen pressed me again for an answer I offered up my default, sing-songy response: "Well, he's real if you believe in him. He's really the 'Spirit of Christmas...'" But he cut me off before I perjured myself any further.
"Well, if he's not real, then make sure you get me that Wii soccer game, OK?"
And that was that.
The scenes in response to this
end of the innocence moment about Santa play out differently in families across the globe.
Martha Brockenbrough in a great post on her blog
Maybe Means Probably Not, wrote a beautiful letter to her daughter to break the news gently. (It's so lovely, I wish I had just one more innocent in the family to use it on but alas I don't.) Of course, there are other moms like
Blogger Emily of
momlogic.com who's husband was adamant about telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth about Santa, even if it ruined it for all the other kids who still believe. The parents on
truuconfessions have been sharing their stories throughout the years about dealing with this unique December dilemma. Here's a sampling:
"So there is no Santa Clause?" my daughter asked me this morning. "No" I said "Then why have you taken me to the mall all these years to sit on some stranger's lap?"
12.12.07 7:40a
"I want to get rid of the Easter Bunny. I hate the very concept of an Easter Bunny. A large rabbit that delivers eggs. WHY? yet I love perpetuating the myth of Santa Claus. Is that normal?"
"I will keep the tradition of Santa for my girls until the day I die. Santa isn't just a man in a suit, to me he's a symbol that more people can relate to no matter what their background is. That's pretty special. How can something that can bring such joy be called a lie?"
"Seriously, if finding out about Santa is such a trauma, why start the lie to begin with? My parents never did "Santa" with us, and I'll never do it with my child. She knows the truth :)"
"My son wouldn't go to bed last night so I called Santa (AKA my brother!) and had him talk to my son. Worked like a charm!! :-) I hope I can use it after Christmas too!"
Well ,with hundreds of these confessions pouring in on the subject, it's really clear that a line has been drawn in the sand (or snow, rather) with moms falling on one side or the other of the "Great Santa divide.
*So, where do
YOU fit in on the "Santa Spectrum?" Share your thoughts here or jump on over to the
confessional.
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