It took forever to get a nice little sleep routine going, and now it seems like it's all unravelling-- Your young child is refusing to nap.... and let's face it, everyone in the house could benefit from this nap. Today, Parents Ask expert Elizabeth Pantley answers this reader's question about giving up the nap:

Q:  Our three year old never wants to take her nap. She complains about it every day. Should I let her give up naps?

A: If it were up to children, they’d never sleep – day or night – until they simply fell over. Leaving the decision to nap up to your child is like allowing her to choose between vegetables or ice cream for dinner – just like ice cream would win hands down, your little one is unlikely to choose sleep over awake. Which leaves the decision entirely up to the grown ups in the house.

About 85% of two year olds, 65% of three year olds, 25% of four year olds, and 15% of five year olds take a nap almost every day. Children are typically ready to give up naps sometime between age 3 and 5, if they get an adequate amount of night sleep. Regardless of the statistics, if your child needs a nap she falls into the 100% category: 100% of the children who need a nap should take a nap. Even if your child does fine all day without a nap, new research shows that naps (or at least a daily rest break) continue to be beneficial throughout our entire lives.

If your child falls in the “needs a nap” category then I recommend you do everything you can to preserve that daily sleep. If you know what to look for, you will be able to tell if your child needs a nap. Check out these lists:

Signs that your child needs a daily nap:
•    Responds in a positive or neutral way to naptime and falls asleep easily
•    Usually naps an hour or longer
•    Wakes up in the morning in a good mood, but gets whiny and cranky as the day progresses
•    Demonstrates coordination deterioration over the course of the day – can’t manage a puzzle as well, falls down more often, or gets clumsy.
•    Late in the day becomes wired up or hyper-active and won’t settle down easily
•    Often falls asleep in the car or when watching a movie
•    Has a difficult time waking up in the morning, or wakes up grumpy

Signs that your child no longer needs a nap (but still might benefit from a daily rest break):
•    Has a consistent personality from morning until bedtime
•    Learns new things easily and has an appropriate attention span for his age
•    Goes to bed at a reasonable time and sleeps well all night long
•    When she is put in bed for a nap she rarely falls asleep
•    On the days when he naps, he takes a long time to fall asleep that night, or goes to bed much later than usual
•    Generally wakes up on her own and in a pleasant mood
•    Sleeps the number of total sleep hours shown on the Sleep Chart  almost every night

Handling the Transition
Children aren’t good nappers one day and suddenly non-nappers the next. There will likely be a transition period of several months (even as much as half a year) when your child clearly needs a nap some days, but is fine without one on others.