One of our readers asked, "What kinds of feelings can a new baby bring up in marriage? I feel like my husband and I are constantly keeping score (of who does what). Is this normal?"

Parents Ask expert Carin Goldstein, M.F.T. weighs in:

The spectrum of feelings is so incredibly broad for new parents from feelings of joy for their new baby to feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted by the 24/7 demands of an infant.  Those overwhelming feelings can cause parents to feel much more vulnerable and less grounded than they did "pre-baby."  Couples can start to feel overly demanding toward each other, where each person begins to "keep score" as to who is sweating harder between the needs of the baby, the needs of the household and the needs of each other.  Couples need to remember that they are on the same team and the moment they make their partner "the enemy," then it's a lose/lose for everyone.  Each parent needs to find some time away from the baby and do what they can to take the best possible care of themselves so that they don't end up feeling burnt out and resentful of their spouse.  Making it a priority to have alone time as a couple, dinner with a girlfriend, hitting the gym, keeping up on a favorite hobby or sport, or even talking to a therapist are examples of how each person can remain grounded and a bit rejuvenated (even in the throws of poopy diapers and spit up).
 
As I tell many new mommies and daddies in my practice, "you're only as good to those around you as you are to yourself."

Check back in TOMORROW, for more advice on ways you and your partner can work through the stress and exhaustion brought on by a baby (...and older children too!)