For most moms, finding time to do anything for themselves feels nearly impossible. And even if you are lucky enough to steal a minute or two, feelings of guilt (you should be with the kids, running errands, etc.) gets in the way. Today, Parents Ask expert Carin Goldstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist, answers one mom's question about guilty feelings vs. "me time."

Q:  With two kids under 5, I feel like I never get a moment to rest. My husband is great at helping out and offering to take the kids for an afternoon so I can go and have some "Me time," but for whatever reason, I feel guilty for needing time away. Like I should be able to do it all and not need to "escape" every now and again. Is that normal?

A:  Whether you're a stay at home mom or a working mom, mommies are busier than ever these days.  Between changing diapers to schlepping to play dates, a mommy's "to-do" list seems like it's never ending.  However, what seems to be missing more than ever from their daunting lists is more "me" time.  The guilt that mothers feel these days to simply take time to care for themselves is a universal problem:  "What? 'Me' time?? I've been in the office all day - how can I possibly leave my kids with my husband so that he can do bedtime while I have dinner with a girlfriend?"  Or "How can I take 30 minutes to go on a walk when the house looks like a bomb hit it?!?"  These are just a few examples of guilty feelings I hear from mothers.
 
Mommies, here's your answer: You're only as good to those around you as you are to yourself.  If you don't take at least an hour here and there to stop, relax, take a breath, see a friend, thumb through your favorite magazine, take a shower and (dare I say) blow dry your hair, etc., etc, then the chances of burn out for you are very high.  Burn out for a mother only equals a resentful you, cranky kiddies and a partner who won't be so eager to snuggle with you on the couch once the kids are tucked in.  Plus, think about the message we send our children when they watch us spend all of our time taking care of everyone around us except ourselves?  One of the best gifts we can give our children is the respecting oneself and the importance of taking time out to care for our needs.  Take it from the flight attendant on an airplane who explains that in case of an emergency, your mask goes on YOUR face before putting it on your child. Unless you're taking care of yourself, you won't be able to be the kind of parent that you strive to be. Taking time to care for you is a win/win for everyone at home.