There's no question about it: You love your child but their constant interrupting is starting to drive you batty. Today, Parents Ask expert Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution shares her thoughts on ways to curb this issue:

Q:  I haven’t been able to complete an adult conversation since my twins turned three! They have no patience and expect an immediate response when they talk to me. How do I teach them some patience!



A:  Whether you’re on the phone, on your computer, or talking to another adult, it can be so frustrating when your children constantly interrupt you. What’s surprising to learn is that they do it because . . . they always get a response from you when they do! They’ve learned that you are willing to stop what you’re doing to answer them. Keep in mind that children are so focused on their own needs that they don’t realize that you have needs, too. They can learn how to pay more attention to other people’s needs, and you can get control of these endless interruptions. Try these tips:



Give lessons and examples

Teach your children how to decide if something warrants an interruption – they may have a hard time deciphering when interruptions are justified.  Give them examples of when it’s okay to interrupt, such as when someone is at the door, or if a sibling is hurt, and when it’s not, like when they want another cookie.


Coach proper manners

Teach your children how to wait for a pause in the conversation and to say, “Excuse me.” When they remember to do this always say thank you, even if you have to tell them to wait for an answer.



Don’t answer the question.

Many parents reprimand their kids for interrupting, but in the next breath respond to the child’s interrupted request. Think how this reinforces the habit…



Watch YOUR manners

Parents sometimes jump in so quickly to correct their child’s bad manners that they don’t realize that the way their correction is delivered is itself rude. Use your own good manners to model appropriate communication skills: Pause, look at your child, and say, “I’ll be with you in a minute.”

 

Teach “The Squeeze”


Tell your child that if she wants something when you are talking, she should gently squeeze your arm. You will then squeeze her hand to let her know that you’ll be with her in a minute. At first, respond quickly so she can see the success of this method. Over time you can wait longer, just give a gentle squeeze every few minutes to remind your child that you remember her.



Create a busy-box

Put together a box of toys or games that can only be used when you are on the phone or working at your desk. Occasionally refill it with new things and rotate the contents. Put it away when you are done. Your child will be look forward to your next conversation, which will be interruption free!



Plan ahead

Before you make a phone call or have a visitor, let your children know what to expect. “I’m going to make a phone call. I’ll be a while, so let’s get your busy box to use while I’m on the phone.”



Give praise when deserved

Catching your child doing the right thing can be the best lesson of all. Praise your child for using good manners, for remembering to say “excuse me,” and for interrupting only for a valid reason.