There's no doubt about it. Parenting has changed since we were children. Unfortunately, however, that hasn't stopped YOUR parents, or your spouse's parents from sharing their very different opinions on the way to rear your child. Today, we asked Parents Ask Expert, Carin Goldstein, LMFT, to answer this very sensitive issue:

Q: How can couples work through differences when it comes to a (grand)parents differing opinions and involvement...



A: This is a very universal frustration and a sensitive topic for many couples .  First of all, remind yourself that at this point in their lives your parents or in-laws are more than likely not going to change. Especially when it comes to their personal views and opinions regarding parenting.  However, this is not to say that it's OK for them to intrude on how you choose to parent.  What you can and should do is set appropriate boundaries whenever necessary.  What I might encourage a couple to say to their parent(s) is: "I don't expect you to change who you are or how you view the situation but we ask that you please respect the boundaries in how we choose to raise our children." 



Many couples exhaust themselves with frustration because deep down they are expecting their parents to change for the sake of their needs only to feel disappointed and angry with the difference of opinion.  The focus of your energy should be put in raising your children, not changing who your parents are.  If you can find a place of acceptance in how your parents or in-laws are wired, while instilling boundaries, it will be a lot easier to let their annoying comments or behaviors roll off your back.  Obviously, this is easier said than done but it's definitely worth trying.