Have you ever wondered how you stack up as a parent? If your skills are up to par? If you're approaching discipline and daily decisions with the right focus? Well, today Parents Ask expert Elizabeth Pantley offers a parenting plan "Quiz" that will help parents answer this:

Q:  Am I a good parent???

A: I looked for one word to describe the parenting job. I settled on “intricate” when I read Webster ‘s definition: something hard to understand because it’s full of puzzling parts and details. I can think of no other job that requires you to be more flexible and open-minded, or demands that you stay alert and focused day after day.



As intricate and complicated as the parenting job is, not enough people spend time creating a “parenting plan” – figuring out in advance how they will raise their children. A good “plan” lays out how you will instill the values that are important to you in your children, how you will approach discipline, and how you will make daily decisions. 


The first step to this process is to find out what your strengths and weakness are. Once you recognize the areas where you are succeeding, and identify the areas where you need to make changes, you can focus on finding answers and learning new skills, and creating your own “parenting plan.”



I’ve developed a fun quiz that will help you locate your strengths and weaknesses in the current way you parent.  It will help you see yourself more clearly. Find a quiet corner and take the quiz. Be honest and thoughtful. The answers may surprise or even embarrass you, but reviewing them can help you analyze and improve your parenting style, and get you on the road to creating a successful parenting plan.





Are each of these statements Usually True or Usually False ?

•         I pause my work and listen to my children when they talk to me.


•         I often take time to spend with my children – without distraction. 


•         When my children have worries I listen and then provide support.


•         My children have daily chores.


•         I often give my children choices, instead of always giving orders.


•         My children are in bed at the same time almost every night.


•         My kids use “Please” and “Thank you” when they talk to me.


•         I use “Please” and “Thank you” when I talk to my kids.


•         My instructions tend to be brief and specific - I don’t lecture.


•         I don’t give in to a child’s nagging, whining and pleading.


•         We have family rules and everybody knows them.


•         My kids clean up their own messes.


•         Our family eats dinner together frequently.


•         I trust my children.


•         My children trust me.


•         I am consistent in the things that I say “no” or “yes” to.


•         When a problem occurs, we address it, solve the problem, and then it’s over.


•         I compliment my children at least three times as often as I criticize them.


•         I’m involved in my children’s school and sports activities.


•         I learn about parenting by reading books, website articles, or by taking classes.


•         The first things I say to my children in the morning are pleasant and loving.


•         The last words I say to my children at night are pleasant and loving.


•         I hug my children and tell them I love them – every day.


•  

These statements reflect  parenting skills that together create a strong and positive parenting plan. The best answer to each of these questions is “Usually True”.  Take some time to ponder any statement to which you have answered “Usually False.” Determine what changes you can make in your family to better reflect the concepts  presented in each statement.



Sometimes the decisions we make when parenting our children are not really decisions at all – but knee-jerk  reactions.  It takes time and effort to create and follow a good parenting plan.  It’s well worth the effort, since a good plan will make your daily decisions easier and help you be more consistent with your children. The end result is: calmer more confident parents and happier, well-behaved children.