I have my typical multiple personality problem when it comes to summer vacation.  I dread it because I need to schedule enough stuff to keep the kids from asking, "Why aren't we going anywhere today?" or "When is someone coming over?" or "Can we go out and play with the 12-year-olds down the street who are clearly talking about sex and using a lot of curse words?"  But I also look forward to summer vacation with that same childlike giddiness and anticipation that makes me feel like a 9-year-old.  I picture sleeping in late, playing outside until the sun goes down, and lying on warm concrete in a cold, wet bathing suit.  It's relaxing.  It's calm.  It's peaceful.  And. . .

It's complete and utter fantasy.  Because summer vacation as a kid is nothing like summer vacation with kids.

 

Summer vacation with kids is day camp.  Day camp means packing lunches, which isn't required during the school year (our school has a kick-ass, healthy, organic hot lunch program -- go ahead and hate on me).  We're also trying to save the world, one plastic bag at a time, which means everything gets packed in reusable containers.  I was also dumb enough to buy these cute little bento lunch boxes that the kids love and I hate because I only have one set of little boxes that fit in the damn things.  So I have to wash everything when it comes home, dry it, and pack it up again for the next day.  Day camp means wet towels, wet swim suits, and wet clothes.  And everyone needs to wear the same swimsuit every single day -- because it's the only one with the long-sleeve rash guard and we'd hate to give anyone skin cancer -- so that means (extra) laundry.  Day camp means packing and repacking duffle bags, wrestling on sunscreen every morning, and never getting away without taking a bath at night because everyone is absolutely filthy.

Summer vacation is trips.  Trips mean doing 20 loads of laundry, checking off a list of 50 things so that you can leave your house, and packing everything you can think of that may or may not be available on the plane, near your hotel, or on a desolate, winding road with your carsick, puking 5-year-old.  Trips mean foraging for familiar food in restaurants and people's homes.  Trips mean proceeding with the illusion that you're relaxing when indeed you're working twice as hard as you usually do at home.  Trips mean using what seems like an inordinate number of plastic bags (thus negating the world-saving bento lunches).  Trips mean coming home to 20 loads of laundry, a checklist of 50 things to get the house up and running, and unpacking twice as much stuff as you left with.

Summer vacation is swim lessons.  Swim lessons mean more wet bathing suits and towels.  And more laundry.  Swim lessons mean choosing between the irritation of changing everyone out of their wet swim suits after class or having a wet car.  Swim lessons mean locker rooms.  And free anatomy lessons.

Summer vacation is the beach.  The beach means having to yell and scream at the kids to rush them out the door the same way you did during the school year, only this time for the sole purpose of having fun.  The beach means packing enough food and drinks to make sure that you and the other families you're meeting will be capable of feeding an entire homeless shelter.  The beach means bringing enough chairs, blankets, towels, hats, sunscreen, umbrellas, toys, games, and bug spray that you'd be able to stock a moderately sized USO operation in Afganistan.  The beach means children who are always hot, tired, and cranky at the end of the day, regardless of how much fun they had.  The beach means sand.  Lots and lots of sand.

So, relaxing -- no.  Calm -- not usually.  Peaceful -- rarely.  But memorable?

In 20 years, I'm guessing they'll remember the lunch boxes and the sand.  I'm just hoping I'll forget about all the laundry.    



PartlySunny is busy planning a perfectly memorable birthday party for her 5-year-old daughter and teaching both her kids how to punch out camp bullies.  She blogs at Partly Sunny, Chance of Rain.

See Also:

-Why Summer Vacation Makes Me Cry

-Staycation: The New VACATION for Families

-Summertime Vacation Risks and Prevention