“Mommy, When Does Daddy Come Home?”

A question that plagues me on a daily basis. How do I explain to two kids that Dad is overseas?

My daughter is an easy fix. At two and half years old it’s easy for me to say “Daddy is at work, he will be home soon.”  I’ve gotten some eyebrow raises for it, but I’m a big believer in giving kids as much or as little information that they can handle based on their age. My 5 year old son understands more than my daughter would. Why should I give her information that will only confuse her and make her upset?

Explaining it to my son was a little more challenging... With him being in school, more kids talk about Afghanistan and where their dads are. I’m a little more honest with him about where his dad is. I’ve shown him on the map and I told my son that "dad is a soldier and his job is there right now," and asked if he had any questions about it.

My son also keep a countdown to dad’s return. From taking a jelly bean out of a jar daily to crossing the days off on a calendar, he can visually see dad is coming home soon.

It’s been a rough tour, but we’ve been lucky enough to get video and phone calls. The kids have seen where he is and he’s been great in giving age appropriate answers to the questions that they have.

As we get closer to dad’s arrival the mood in our house has shifted from time dragging on to preparations and anticipation of his return. Now the kids are getting excited to have him back they are not as preoccupied with being sad that he is gone. 

Vanessa van de Nes is author of A Military Wife's Mayhem. "Blogging to stay sane at home while my husband is away in Afghanistan and dealing with everyday life!"

Are you a military mom? How do you explain to your kids that dad is deployed?