If you think being pregnant is a memorable experience, just wait until a certain tiny someone decides it’s time to emerge. That incredible day will likely be etched in your mind for many years to come. “You can talk to 80- or 90-year- old women who probably can’t remember what they had for breakfast, but they can remember their labor and [giving] birth,” says Susan Martensen, CD-PCD, president of Doulas of North America (DONA International), headquartered in Jasper, Ind. “That’s how significant it is.”

What can you do to make your delivery-room memories as positive as they can be? First, learn about all your options by reading as much as possible and/or taking childbirth classes (find book recommendations and certified educators at icea.org). Then, simply control what you can—as our experts discuss here—and let the experience take you where it will.

It may sound extreme, but it’s wise to be as discriminating about choosing a person to deliver your baby as you were about selecting your partner. “A lot of women don’t interview prospective caregivers enough,” says Jane Hanrahan, ICCECD, president of the International Childbirth Education Association (ICEA), headquartered in Minneapolis. “They don’t ask about their philosophy, what’s typical in their practice, what they advocate for patients.

As a result, a woman who wants a natural childbirth, for instance, may end up with a doctor who believes in a medical model—or vice-versa.” Katie Cartwright, CD (DONA), of Bacon Hill, N.Y., says many of her clients say they just went with the first doctor they found or the one they’d always seen. “This is a business decision as much as a personal one,” she notes, “yet people often put more thought into buying a car. Look for a provider who treats you well and offers the services you want.”

A good place to start: Ask new moms for referrals. “Most women are passionate about their ob-gyns; they either love them or hate them,” says Robert James Gallo, M.D., FACOG, a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey. If you have a lowrisk pregnancy, your preferences may even prompt you to opt for a midwife. For instance, Cartwright had a midwifeassisted home birth because the local hospital didn’t allow mothers to deliver in water—which she’d decided she wanted to do, barring any complications. Many midwives have nursing degrees, extensive training and decades of experience. They can often deliver your baby at your home, a birthing center or the hospital. (Learn more at the North American Registry of Midwives’ Web site, narm.org.)



Seek Extra Support

A laboring woman screaming at her partner may be the ubiquitous image you see on television. But the reality, according to a 2003 study published in The Cochrane Library, is that women who receive supportive care from their partners (among others) are more likely than women without such care to be satisfied with their birth experience, as well as to avoid medical interventions like a Cesarean section, an epidural, vacuum extraction and forceps. Whom should you invite to the birth? Doulas, trained companions and other friends or family members top the list. Ideally, make sure your partner or another loved one attends childbirth classes with you, and consider meeting with doulas in your area (find one via icea.org or dona.org). “I had the greatest support team,” says Julie Jacobs, mom of 6- month-old Lucinda in Santa Monica, Calif. “My doula did and asked things I never would have, my husband was amazing and my friend Carol helped everyone. At one point, I even heard my doctor ask, ‘Carol, can you do me a favor?’”



Manage the Fear Factor

The closer you get to your due date, the more nervous you may become. “I think the hardest thing about labor is the fear that what you’re experiencing isn’t normal or that you’re not strong enough to do it,” says Hanrahan. That’s when communication with your support team and your caregiver is crucial, particularly if you’re experiencing signs of labor. “If you have any indication that your water has broken or you have any vaginal bleeding, you should inform your caregiver,” says Gallo. “We offer patients a guideline we’ve learned from childbirth educators called ‘5-1-1,’” he adds which refers a time when you’ve been having contractions five minutes apart, which last for a full minute, for one hour. That’s a good time to get in touch with your caregiver as well.

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SEE ALSO:

-Dads in the Delivery Room: Yay or Nay?!

-Eating During Labor: The Verdict

-Should I Elect to Have a C-Section?

-Childbirth Choices