Sadly, bullying is one of the fastest and scariest epidemics affecting children today. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has even launched a new program called Stop Bullying Now, a campaign for parents to learn all about bullying and what they can do to stop it. They've even created cartoons and games to help children get involved and take a stand.

How to deal with bullies, both as a parent and as a child is difficult. Do you step in? Do you get involved? Do talk to the school? Today, Parents Ask expert Dr. Ann Corwin shares a letter from her website from a concerned mother who's son was bullied right in front of her own eyes. Dr. Corwin offers some tactics on how to handle these situations:

Q: Tonight we were at a block party in the neighborhood and a 3rd grade boy was passing by Brad (2nd grade) and took his head and pushed it down and told him if he touched a football that was nearby he would kill him. My husband and I witnessed the whole thing and watched as Brad shrugged and walked away as I have taught him to do. My husband, Chris, was furious and the parents of the boy either did not see or ignored the situation. We pulled Brad aside and he informed us that this boy does this to him all the time. Brad is always the smallest in his class and struggles with his self esteem. Chris then took it upon himself to tell the boy (Nick) that his behavior was unacceptable and that Brad is a good and nice kid and he should treat him with respect. He informed Nick that if he did it again, there would be consequences with his parents. Chris then organized a football game with Brad, Nick, the other boys at the party and some other Dads. This seems to have worked, but on the way home, Chris said Brad needs to learn to stick up for himself, or he will continue to be bullied. I of course got the "You don't understand what boys go through as kids" speech, because I am a girl and grew up with sisters. What is the right thing to teach the boys? I don't want them to use physical violence, but I want them to defend themselves and not feel insecure and scared to be around other boys too. HELP!!!!



A: So sorry for your son's bully experience.  First and foremost as I am sure you have already done, thank your kids for telling you the true story of what happened and then say, "you should be so proud of YOURSELF for reporting someone hurting you!"  Then talk to him about how it felt, try to  get one feeling, like sad (for example) then tell him what to do about it or how to DEAL if it happens again.  Remember immediately no eye contact, turn around and don't talk to bullies and report immediately what happened...tell him the difference between tattling and reporting: Tattling is just to get someone in trouble even if it is not really what happened. Reporting is just telling the facts when someone is hurting someone else with their words or their bodies.



Glad the school is addressing the issue, but along with that I would go to the PTA/PTO meeting this month or ASAP and get in the minutes to report what happened and ask them to send out a letter about bullying to every parent in the school.