My six year old asked me to buy her a bra.  She wanted one because two of her friends have one.  “They aren’t like real bras,” she said shyly.  “They are High School Musical and Hannah Montana ones.  I think it would be fun to have one.”  Her eyes kind of darted back and forth and she smiled as her cheeks grew flushed.  I was kind of taken by surprise.  I mean, she is six.  I didn’t start stealing my mom’s bras until I was like eleven. 

“Hmmm, do you know what a bra is for?” I asked her.  She shrugged her shoulders and grinned.  “Is it for covering your boobies?” I helped her out a bit because she just couldn’t seem to stop smiling and shuffling her feet.  She nodded.  So I agreed.  She obviously doesn’t need one, but if she wants one to wear at home or whatever, I’m fine with that.  Mostly because I’m just super happy that she felt like she could ask me about it. 

Back to the stealing of my mother’s bras – I did it, because I wanted to wear a bra but I was too embarrassed to ask her.  She never brought it up and I guess that’s just where some moms differ.  Some are the type that talk about everything and approach those types of situations, where others sort just let things unfold and wait for the child to come to them.  My mom was definitely the latter.  And me, not knowing how to approach it, would rather just find the smallest cup-size in her drawer and then of course, stuff it with cotton balls so it didn’t look like it was too big.  Seriously.  It was the same thing with shaving my legs.  I just rifled around in the bathroom closet and found a razor of my own.  I taught myself to shave and learned a few lessons the hard way and all the while I tried to hide it from my mom.  I’m guessing she probably noticed my suddenly smooth legs and my increase in bust size but she never brought it up and I was grateful, I guess.  But when I finally did decide I needed to have some appropriately fitting bras, I thought I would die on the spot when I asked her to buy them for me. 

This is why I am glad my daughter, although sheepishly, felt like she could ask me for a bra for her non-existent boobies.  So the next time we were out shopping together, we found a cute little set with butterflies and a matching pair of panties.  They are kind of like “Underoos,” from back in my day and she was incredibly excited about it.  Of course I made her tell her daddy when we got home and he responded completely as expected by asking why in the world she needed a bra and then teasing her about it, but she was a good sport.

We have also broached the subjects of shaving legs which she is completely unimpressed with and feminine products, which was an explanation I completely botched.  She wanted to know what they were for.  I told her you need them because your body does things that makes you able to have babies.  She immediately assumed because I had them I was trying to have a baby.  That was a definitely not the case.  I have still not been able to fully explain that one because I feel it’s a little tricky to do so without it sounding scary.  I mean, we are years away from puberty here.  We can take our time with some of this stuff, right? 

I guess I am questioning whether I was just more naïve or if “growing up” is happening at a much earlier age these days.  We got “the talk” in fifth grade when I was in school and now it seems like kids that age are likely to know more than I do about certain things.  I mean, they have cell phones and designer purses and highlights…none of which I had when I was in grade school.  So is it possible that with these grown up things come grown up ideas?

I just sincerely hope that my daughters always feel like they can talk to me.  I’d much rather they get their information from me than from the playground or the media.  And though I may stumble through some of the explanations, I’ll always try to create an environment in which they feel comfortable asking questions.  I will do my best to be honest and forthcoming with them.   And you can bet for certain that I will take them bra shopping when the time is right, for real bras…with no cotton balls.



Melanie Chezem is a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom to two little girls.  Whether it's life as a mom or life in general, she tells it like it is at www.mommyspills.com.

See Also:

-Love is in The Air... Not!

-My Toddler Caught Us Having Sex: Should I Explain?!

-Mommy, Where Do Babies Come From?