from our friends at Toddler Magazine...

For the most part, separation anxiety is a normal part of the developmental process. Although some degree of separation anxiety is a sign of a healthy attachment to the primary caregiver, signs of anxiety in excess or lack thereof, can also be suggestive of something of a more serious nature. That is, a small percentage of school-aged children and adolescents may develop separation anxiety disorder (SAD); a condition in which a child becomes fearful and nervous when away from home or separated from a caregiver to whom the child is attached. They typically develop an intense fear of harm to parents and a refusal to separate from their caregivers, albeit for school or sleep.

In any given situation, it is important to understand that the degree of separation difficulty can vary from day to day depending on the child’s temperament, their age, and additional extraneous variables that may be occurring at home and/or school (i.e., transitioning from home to pre-school, divorce, anticipating the arrival of a baby brother/sister, etc.). Therefore, despite some generalities of what is to be expected, we must also be cognizant of how each baby/toddler differs in their individual circumstances. For example, although by the age of 5, most children are secure enough to be left with a babysitter, this may not be the case if a toddler has had his/her first experience with the loss of a family member. In this situation, it is not unusual to see some regression. It could be the case that your child is fearful of losing “you” and subsequently may exhibit clingy behavior when it’s time to go to school; perhaps, something you had not seen since he/she was in pre-school.

Studies suggest that infants prefer and distinguish between their primary caregivers and strangers. Despite their preference for mom/dad, during the first few months of infancy, your child will likely respond willingly to most people they come in contact with. However, around the 7-8 month mark, you can expect to see a change in your infant’s behavior when you, let’s say, step out of the room. They may cry when you leave and become very distressed in your absence. You may also begin to observe your child being fearful or shy around strangers; a behavior sometimes referred to as “stranger anxiety.” From a developmental perspective, your child is beginning to understand that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be seen, heard, or touched; a stage of cognitive development Jean Piaget termed object permanence. Therefore, when you leave, your baby is aware that you continue to exist, but just not in their presence. This is quite troubling to them. They have yet to learn that you will come back.

To CONTINUE READING and for more tips on how to handle a child who is experiencing anxiety about the anticipation and/or the actual act of separation, CLICK HERE!